I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
