Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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