In the future we'll all be gay
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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