Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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