I'm going to jail i love you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
