I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
