Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
