You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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