Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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