first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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