She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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