So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
