If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
