a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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