Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize