i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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