Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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