from now on my penis is your penis
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
