I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
