yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
