this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
