She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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