I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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