Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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