This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
