i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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