Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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