I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
