Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
