What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
