Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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