I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
