You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My vagina just clenched in fear
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