giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
