dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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