So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It's just like the Real World with babies
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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