4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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