I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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