Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
