i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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