Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
