Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
