She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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