do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
