I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
