i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
