its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize