I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
