I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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