I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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