Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
