I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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