you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
