if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
