its not stalking. its research.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Everything about him screamed your future.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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