what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize