I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
