the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I see more hoeing in ur future
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
