I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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