I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
