Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
