So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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