Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
