I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
