Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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