He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
