She said her name was "party"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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