The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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