Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
