Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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