why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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